Category Archives: Off the cuff

Blogs in this category are more about the personal issues, trials, temptations, and victories I’ve gone through and the demonstration of God’s grace through them.

Focus on yourself; it is okay not to worry about others

focusFocus on yourself. For many Christians, this very idea seems contrary to everything we know to be Christian. In the letters written to Paul, we are told to teach one another. In the book of Ezekiel, we are urged to be watchmen on the wall – warning of God’s impending judgment of sin. If we are supposed to do all of this, how can we not worry about others?

Setting ourselves as the top priority

Beginning with my early teenage years and extending into adulthood, I often worried about what others thought of me. As a result, I often found myself in places or situations where I didn’t want to be. Wanting to be liked by my new “friends” at college, I spent every night partying instead of studying and doing homework. Therefore, I sacrificed a full scholarship at the University of Southern Mississippi to study music to party every night.  Wanting to be seen as an adult by others, I married at twenty-three years old. That marriage ended three years later and set me on a path of self-loathing and hatred. And all because I thought more highly of what others thought of me than what I thought of myself.

We often neglect our spiritual health. Sometimes we become fixated on trying to control how others see us. When we need prayer, we often don’t ask for it because we fear being seen as weak. And other times, we hide from the Lord by keeping ourselves busy doing the Lord’s “work.” And if we are not careful, we will elevate our spiritual needs above the needs of others, which is also spiritually dangerous.

Jesus tells us to keep a proper focus.

As Christians, we hear all kinds of anecdotal stories and teachings of how we should put Jesus first, others next, and then ourselves last. But in the scriptures, there is a different and more profound order. We place Jesus first, then our own spiritual needs next. It is impossible to minister to the needs of others until we have the right mind and spirit. We are often led to believe we are selfish when we do seek to have our spiritual needs met first. It is a vicious cycle that caused me a lot of mental anguish until I began to grasp what the Bible teaches.

Fulfilling our spiritual needs looks different for each believer

One of the best-known stories of the New Testament is the rivalry between Mary and Martha. Consider this passage in John: There they made him a supper; and Martha served: but Lazarus was one of them that sat at the table with him. Then took Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped his feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odour of the ointment (John 12:2-3). We see the story of two women, each seeking to have their spiritual needs met but in a different way.

Martha felt led to prepare and serve her Lord a meal. She needed to demonstrate her hospitality for the Lord’s approval. But Mary didn’t have that same spiritual need. Undoubtedly, if we consider the cost of her gift to the Lord, was priceless by market standards. Even Judas remarked of how foolish that offering made by Mary was. Jesus rebuked the scoffers and the scorners: Then said Jesus, Let her alone: against the day of my burying hath she kept this. For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always (John 12:7-8). She had a spiritual need met by giving her most valued possession to the Lord at that moment.

Jesus expounds on this teaching moment

In the gospel of Luke, there’s a continuation of this story: But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her (Luke 10:40-42). Martha is upset and is complaining to Jesus about Mary’s lack of hospitality, choosing to wash Jesus’ feet instead of helping to prepare and serve a meal.

Martha expected Jesus to side with her. She believed being hospitable to the Lord and their guests were more important than what Mary felt she needed to do. Why? Because Martha thought her spiritual need was that important than what Mary was doing. Mary was wasting her money on a trivial thing. It was Martha’s need to be prepared for the meal, which was much more important to her.

Each of us is Martha and Mary

We all have this happen to us from time to time. Sometimes, we are Martha, demanding others do what we think is right only because it addresses our spiritual need. We can often become dismissive of the spiritual needs of others. And yes, like Martha, we can even hold our own spiritual needs above the needs of those around us. All Martha was doing for the Lord was good until her attitude towards Mary became the center of her focus. She began to resent Mary. Martha didn’t like that Mary didn’t have the same vision as hers. In her heart, she became dismissive of Mary’s desire to offer all she had of value to the Lord.

And sometimes we are Mary. We are doing what we need to have our spiritual needs met. It may not be breaking a bottle of perfume to anoint Jesus’ feet, but it may be fasting, prayer, taking on a project within the church, or even going to nursing homes to visit the elderly or anything else which gets laid on our heart by the Lord. And then Martha comes along to remind us how what we are doing isn’t as important as what they are doing. And they never forget to tell us of the help they need to accomplish their goal.

This is continued on the next page.

Gaining focus when you’re surrounded by chaos

gaining focus

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Gaining focus is something we all need to do from time to time. It has been over a year since my last post to The Daily Walk, and during that time, the Lord taught me the importance of gaining focus. When we lose sight of what our goals are, we can become surrounded by chaos. For a Christian, confusion can keep us from reaching our full potential within Christ; it can hinder our prayers. Chaos can rob us of understanding what the Lord wants for us. Gaining focus when you’re surrounded by chaos can be challenging, but it is necessary.

Surrounded by chaos

Chaos is defined by the Merriam Webster Online Dictionary as “a state of utter confusion; a confused mass or mixture.” Chaos and confusion are the same. We often hear others claim they thrive on chaos; we never hear those same folks admit they thrive on confusion. At times, I said I thrived on chaos but soon realized I was only fooling myself. God doesn’t want His children to be in a state of confusion or to have to battle chaos. Chaos and confusion do not come from God but are tokens of the fallen state of this world. Paul writes For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints (1 Corinthians 14:33). It isn’t that chaos and confusion are a sin, but they are the effects of sin.

Gaining focus isn’t easy

In the past, I have resisted sharing a lot of the personal struggles I’ve had in my walk with the Lord. It wasn’t until three weeks ago someone pointed out that they’ve learned a lot from me when I’ve shared my struggles and experiences within my faith.  So, for the past five years, I’ve been struggling how to answer the Lord’s call to serve within His ministry. And during the five-year journey, chaos and confusion became a part that obscured my understanding of what the Lord wanted for me.

During that five-year journey, I hid from the Lord in the comfort of a church and a printing ministry I had started. I knew the Lord wanted me in His service, but I thought that by providing a need for the church I was in, it was all I needed to do. God responded to my efforts by calling me out of my comfort zone and moving me into another local church. For the next four years, chaos and confusion reigned supreme until I decided to listen to what the Lord was trying to teach me.

Only when we are ready to listen

David, the psalmist wrote, The LORD looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God (Psalm 14:2). He also wrote, And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee (Psalm 9:10). When we add to this the wisdom of Solomon, Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding (Proverbs 3:5, we can get a glimpse of the nature of the Lord.

God is continually looking for those who are seeking Him above all else. He desires a relationship with everyone but does not force us into a relationship with Him. The Lord waits until we seek Him out; then, He helps us to understand the fullness of our relationship to Him through Christ Jesus. He wants us to put our complete trust in Him. But too often we have a problem with that last part. We worry. Stress takes over as we work out our solutions to the issues we face. We too quickly think we understand what is going on only to find our decisions have made things even worse. It isn’t until we have run out of room to run that we honestly decide to listen to the Lord and to put our trust in Him as our last option.

It is continued on the next page.

Time squandered can’t be regained

time

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Time is a funny thing. We spend so much of it making plans for the future and thinking about the things we wish we had done differently. We often forget that time squandered can’t ever be regained. Once it is gone, whether for good or bad, it is gone. As I share with you today, it is obvious that for much of 2018, I’ve wasted time. As a result, there are many things I haven’t kept up with in my life. I have a history class I want to revise. I’ve not been keeping up with my exercise and diet the way that I should. And I’ve not been as faithful in my personal Bible study as I should have been.

Things that squander our time

We all have things which takes up more of our time than they probably should. For me, it is easy to become focused health issues, work, family commitments, and even things I regret in my past. Each one of these things is enough to derail my best of intentions each day. A while back ago, when I was teaching a pre-teen Sunday school class, we discussed the things which can rob us of time. For a few, it was Facebook and other social media platforms. For others, it was video games and on-line gaming.No one is exempt for the very real spiritual battle of how we manage our life.

Our emotional state plays a role

A study of David’s life shows the power of emotions in our life. Whether it is our service to the Lord or our relationships with other believers, our emotions impact us. At times, when David was happy and full of life, his life reflected a wish to do all he could for the Lord. His faith wasn’t a chore or something he dreaded, but a part of himself he freely gave to God. But then there were the other times. And we’ve all experienced them. Our faith is challenged or we have failed Him. Guilt and depression begin to pull at our very soul. David captured this feeling when he wrote, How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? (Psalm 13:2).

But David doesn’t stop there. He doesn’t allow his emotional state of being interfere with his faith in the Lord. He writes, But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me (Psalm 13:5-6). This is often easier said than done especially if you struggle with depression. I often have to remind myself of the sovereignty of the Lord in every situation I face. And I understand it is difficult to praise and give thanks to the Lord when everything around you seems to be crashing down. It comes down to this: we either believe God will or we believe God can’t.

Attitude affects how we use our time

Our emotions have an impact on our attitude. Whether it is worshiping the Lord or even preparing dinner for the family, our attitude plays an important role. When we feel loved and valued by our family we have a tendency to focus on others more. For me, that involves cooking their favorite meals and helping with the household chores. Attitude is a mental position with regard to a fact or state; a feeling or emotion toward a fact or state.1

When we feel angry, bitter, or even depressed, our attitude will shift. Things that need to be done will often find a back seat as we seek emotional comfort. For me, that could be binge watching a television show on Netflix, eating junk food, or even binge-playing my favorite PC-based game. In a book written by Dr. Stephen Thurston Jr., Attitude – The Paint Brush of the Mind, the connection between our attitudes and how we approach the Lord and others around us is discussed. But as I read the book I began to understand my attitude was also affecting how I used my time.

Our attitude is a driving force each day

Since January of this year, there has been a struggle each day to stay focused on what needed to be done. At the heart of the struggle was my attitude. Unlike David who turned his entire heart over to the Lord, I allowed myself to become consumed by what I was feeling. Soon, things I normally did, such as daily Bible study and my daily prayer time began to suffer. My attitude, which was one of defeat and uselessness, was impacting every thing I did every day. Not only did it strain my relationship with the Lord, but it also affected relationships within my family, church, and even at work.

It also affected the ministry which the Lord called me into service. As you may have noticed, it has been a while since my last entry. The gifts and talents the Lord gave me went unused. Small things I do for the local church I attend, such as the monthly newsletter, the prayer list, and even preparation of the weekly Bible lesson I teach on Thursday were no longer fun. Therefore, they began to become things I did which were expected and not things I enjoyed doing. My attitude had caused me to lose my focus. I began focusing on other things trying to fill the void now created by my attitude. My attitude allowed me to waste time and to make excuses for it.

Continued on the next page.