Category Archives: Our relationships with other Christians

Bringing out the best in others

best in othersBringing out the best in others seems to be something that every Christian must be focused. In our society today we often witness the opposite happening in our homes, churches, schools, and the workplace. It seems that wherever we go, we witness people tearing others down. Even in our churches, we see the results of envy, jealousy, and strife as Christians take part in this strange and worldly ritual. Paul, often considered as the one apostle that had the most influence over the formation of the New Testament church, wrote, Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works (Hebrews 10:23-24).

According to the Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, provoke means to arouse to a feeling or action, to call forth, to stir up purposefully, or to offer stimulation for something. As I began to think about this passage of scripture, it became clear to me that Paul is reminding Christians to encourage others to not only be faithful to the style of living that Christ has called them to do, but to pass on the encouragement to others. If we look at this principle when applied to other areas of our life, such as dieting and exercise, programs like MyFitnessPal, the Veteran’s Administration’s program, “Let’s Move,” and Weight Watchers all share some common concepts – people are more likely to lose weight when they are part of a group of people who share the same goal. Each program uses positive peer encouragement to encourage each member to lose weight. It is this very idea that Paul is trying to encourage Christians to do for one another.

Paul continued in his encouragement, Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching (Hebrews 10:25). I’ve heard many preachers discuss this verse as referring to regular church attendance – especially on Sunday, but I have become convinced that it is so much more than that. If we are truly to bring out the best in others it cannot be left to just an hour or two on Sunday. It is within the context of Paul’s second letter to Corinth where he writes, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14).  Again, I have heard pastors and evangelists use this verse as a basis for Christians not marrying other Christians, but I think there is much more to this verse than that. As Christians, we are to seek one another out especially as we begin to see the trials, temptations, and personal tribulations approaching. We are also to seek each other out as we watch society deteriorating around us and evil, ungodly practices becoming more mainstream. For this reason, Paul warns us not to be unequally yoked with non-believers. I think of the story of Lott and how at first, he pitched his tent towards Sodom but by the time of the city’s judgment and destruction by God, Lott was living within the walls of Sodom and living comfortably within a sin-sick society.

What Lott was missing was a person of similar faith to strengthen his resolve to live in the way that would be pleasing to the Lord. Solomon, considered as the wisest of all the kings of the ancient world, wrote Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17). I know that many will point towards his wife and say that she should have been his balance and should have been able to encourage him to stay strong in his faith. In reality, that rarely works, which is why programs like Promise Keepers, Weight Watchers, and others encourage us to get people other than our spouses and family members to whom we become accountable. We are not being honest with ourselves when we try to take short-cuts in this area. We need the ability to be frankly honest with whomever is our spiritual accountability partner and they must feel complete freedom to edify and teach us as well. It is through this that Christians are to bring out the best in others.

I’ve got a few men in my life who I will often ask them for guidance, opinions, and prayer simply because they are men of a similar faith to mine. Just as Solomon wrote, our friendships should be those which sharpens our faith, improves our walk with the Lord, and encourages us in our relationship with the Lord and with our family. 

 

When others minister to us

helping-handFor me, one of the hardest things I have had to do in my walk with the Lord is to accept it when He uses others to minister to my needs. I am pretty sure that I am no different from anyone else when it comes to accepting help. One of the hardest things to do is to allow others to minister to us, especially when it is within our own family or church family. There are times we will need others to minister to us, and we must be willing to allow ourselves to be ministered to. The same verses that we, as Christians, use to show the need to minister to others actually show the attitude we should have when others minister to us.

Accepting help from others

When others minister to us, we should realize that their help comes at the leading of the Holy Spirit and is an act of obedience on their part, as the Holy Spirit directs. We must give thanks to the one ministering to us and to the Lord for the blessings we gain. The apostle Paul explained this to the Christians living in Thessalonica, In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Sometimes it is difficult to be thankful when we receive a blessing at the hands of someone within our family or church. It is hard to admit that we couldn’t take care of a problem or issue ourselves; while it is easy to pray to the Lord about those needs, it is quite another to accept the Lord’s provisions especially when it comes at the hands of someone else. We should take on a spirit of genuine thankfulness from the heart; not fake or based on deceit. Paul also wrote to the Christians in Ephesus, Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 5:19-20). When others minister to us, we should not seem callous, or dismissive of their efforts. We should also genuinely be thankful to the Lord and not be dismissive over the Lord’s blessings.

No one understood this better than the apostle Paul; before his conversion to Christianity he had been part of the Sanhedrin council. He shared that part of his testimony in his writings and in his speeches: But when Paul perceived that the one part were Sadducees, and the other Pharisees, he cried out in the council, Men and brethren, I am a Pharisee, the son of a Pharisee: of the hope and resurrection of the dead I am called in question (Acts 23:6), Which knew me from the beginning, if they would testify, that after the most straitest sect of our religion I lived a Pharisee (Acts 26:5), and Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee (Philippians 3:5). As a Pharisee, he never had to worry about his physical needs being met. But when he became a Christian and fully accepted the Lord’s plan for his life, he no longer had access to the financial resources he once had. His role as a missionary prevented him from working so he had to wholly depend on the Lord to provide for his needs. I can imagine that at times Paul felt ashamed and embarrassed that in his newfound faith he was humbled and had to depend on the Lord for everything where before, as Pharisee, he never had a want or a need that he could not meet on his own.

One of the hardest things that we have to do as Christians is to learn how to receive answers to our prayers and needs at the hands of others. Again, the writings of Paul gives us an insight to how he approached being thankful for what others did do for him. He wrote to the Christians in Colossus and to those in Thessalonica, We give thanks to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you (Colossians 1:3), and We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers (1 Thessalonians 1:2). As a missionary, Paul is demonstrating the attitude of gratitude we are to have towards others. We are to give thanks to the Lord when others minister to us. The Lord moves in the hearts of His children and will use our brothers and sisters in Christ to minister to us. As mentioned earlier, the apostle Paul, a missionary, often depended on the gifts and the ministering of others in support of his ministry.

There are times in our own life where we will have a real need – maybe it is a physical need, maybe it is a need for encouragement, or maybe it is just knowing that someone else is praying for us. God uses His children to minister to the needs of others; He uses others to minister to us. It is important for us to remember that we see throughout the New Testament a principle of people and churches moving, as the Holy Spirit leads, to meet the needs of others who are hurting or are in need: Then the disciples, every man according to his ability, determined to send relief unto the brethren which dwelt in Judaea (Acts 11:29). Again, Paul wrote on this very subject to the Christians living in Rome: For it hath pleased them of Macedonia and Achaia to make a certain contribution for the poor saints which are at Jerusalem. It hath pleased them verily; and their debtors they are. For if the Gentiles have been made partakers of their spiritual things, their duty is also to minister unto them in carnal things (Romans 15:26-27) and Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; 13Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality (Romans 12:10 & 12:13). Paul is writing about the emerging characteristics of Christians – which are the same characteristics that we see today. Our churches are filled with women and men who are eagerly waiting for the opportunity to be a blessing to others.

Don’t question the motives

By nature, I am a cynical person. I was not raised in a Christian home and for much of my time in the military, I worked in the military justice field. Both of these influenced the outlook I have held for so long. I’m not proud of this and it is something that I pray that the Lord will help me overcome on a daily basis. While it is not as bad as it once was, I have a problem questioning the motives of others, especially when they’ve done something that ministers to a need. Before I began to ask the Lord to help me in this, I would easily assign them hidden motives of trying to atone for guilt, trying to buy my friendship, or whatever motive my mind could come up with.

I never understood how bad this habit had become it was until one afternoon in 2007, I felt the Lord moving within my heart. There was a family in our church that had fallen on hard times and the Lord had laid on my heart to buy them some groceries and to pay their utility bill. I went to the city hall and paid the utility bill, which was easy enough. I went to Kroger, bought the basic groceries I could think of that a family of five would use, and went by their house and put them on the front porch of the family’s house. The next Sunday, I was approached by the gentleman and was asked all the things I normally muttered to the Lord in private – why did I do that? What was I expecting in return? How much was it going to cost him? At that point, I saw myself for what I was in the situations I similarly experienced in the past; by my very nature and mindset, I was unthankful, I was full of pride, and I was unwilling to be genuinely thankful when the Lord used others to minister to me. Just then, it hit me that from that point forward, I should never question the motives of someone that seeks to be a blessing to me out of obedience to the Lord; instead I needed to remember the words of Jesus: And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward (Matthew 10:42). Even if their reason for helping us is simply “doing it because it is what the Bible teaches…” we are to be accepting of their efforts because the Lord has told them that just offering us a hand because it is what they’ve been taught to do as a Christian is still doing it for the right reason. James wrote, If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone (James 2:15-17). Just as when we are moved by the Holy Spirit to meet the needs of others and we understand that it is the demonstration of our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to help others, when others reach out to minister to us, they are also are acting out of their faith in the Lord. And for that, we must recognize their living faith and a tender heart and rejoice and give thanks to them and to the Lord for meeting our needs.

Older Christians: are you willing to be a mentor?

tutor

Just as the Lord used the everyday activities of a potter to teach Jeremiah, God still speaks to us through the Bible and through the remembering of scripture at what first appears to be strange times. This morning, while I was going through the various emails, I came across one from a faculty member of the college I work at that encouraged us to tell students of the college’s tutoring center, the hours it is open, and the help available to students in a variety of subjects.  The email went so far to explain that the tutoring and mentoring program was designed to help and encourage students to reach their academic potential in an environment that was comfortable and supportive of their needs.

During my office hours, I began to think about the wisdom behind the mentoring and tutoring program that the college has in place.  I then began to think about how within the various writings of the apostle Paul he calls the older and more mature Christian to do the same thing.  In Paul’s letter to Titus, he wrote, But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.  The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you (Titus 2:1-8). Paul is telling Titus, and future Christians through the preservation of this particular letter, that spiritually mature Christians are to mentor and teach younger Christians.

When I was a younger Christian, there were lots of things that I did not understand (please do not misunderstand me,I still do not know or understand everything about the Christian faith).  Not having the benefit of growing up in a biblically based home, I didn’t know a lot about my newfound faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.  As a young Christian, I didn’t know the importance of reading my Bible each day, taking time to pray for my needs and others, or even regular church attendance.  As I have matured, and have learned about what it means to be a Christian, I have also begun to understand that as an older Christian, I do have responsibilities: Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing. Of a truth I say unto you, that he will make him ruler over all that he hath. But and if that servant say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming; and shall begin to beat the menservants and maidens, and to eat and drink, and to be drunken; The lord of that servant will come in a day when he looketh not for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and will cut him in sunder, and will appoint him his portion with the unbelievers.  And that servant, which knew his lord’s will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more (Luke 12:43-48).

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