Tag Archives: Christian living

Maintaining moral standards or passing judgment?

Posted on February 25, 2013 by | Comments Off on Maintaining moral standards or passing judgment?

reading-bible_2316_1024x805Teaching at the college and university level for the past nine years has been an interesting part of my spiritual journey for many reasons.  I have seen college students fresh out of high school and away from home for their first year struggle with numerous temptations and sins – everything from sexual immorality to alcoholism and drugs.  I have watched as younger, spiritually-ill prepared students became caught up into the gross religion of humanism while some, facing problems that are larger than themselves, turn to Christ.

A couple of weeks ago I was asked a question by a student in my night class as to why does it seem that Christians pass judgment on others who do not adhere to the “preferred” lifestyle.  As I began asking questions in an attempt to find out how to best answer the student’s question, he added “after all, a real Christian is not supposed to judge others…”  He continued explaining how a member of his family had become a Christian and no longer participated in the activities that had once made the bonds of brotherhood close. As he continued to explain his views on what Christian judgment actually means it became obviously clear that he was mistaking judgment and Christian separation.  

During his earthly ministry, the Lord Jesus Christ taught that Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his saltness, wherewith will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another (Mark 9:50). Taken with the teachings of the apostle Paul, And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God (Romans 12:2), we are to be different than the world.  We are, in the words of the apostle Peter, to abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul (II Peter 2:11b). What the lost world fails to understand is that it is not that we judge them; we simply choose to honor God rather than participate in activities that we believe would not only damage our Christian testimony but would bring shame to the name of Christ.

Proverbs truly contains a lot of biblical wisdom.  When Solomon wrote in the first chapter, If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause: Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit: We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil: Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse (Proverbs 1:11-14), it is as he looked forward in time and saw the power of peer pressure in today’s society.  It seems that negative peer pressure is hard to withstand; all through Proverbs, the reader is reminded that those who choose not to follow after God always entice those that do to follow their plans and schemes.  There’s a simple reason – if a follower of God does go along with the lost crowd and does the same things they do, it weakens the testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The lost see our acceptance and participation in fleshly activities as a sort of twisted endorsement of their actions.

When I was in graduate school I often heard the “oh, so you are too good to hang out with us…” and other jeers designed to pressure me to join the crowd of graduate students on their weekend activities.  I often heard the complaints that I was being judgmental because I chose not to attend their parties and weekend activities.  It couldn’t be farther from the truth; it was not out of judgment at all, but because I thought it more important to be able to present myself unblemished to God.  In fact, the apostle Paul had the same mindset, as recorded in the book of Acts: And have hope toward God, which they themselves also allow, that there shall be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust. And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men (Acts 24:15-16).  It does not mean that Paul did not sin as a Christian but it does mean that Paul actively sought to avoid committing sin, participating in the appearance of sin, or falling to temptation.

While it is true that our lifestyles should reflect the values and will of our heavenly father, our lifestyles should also bear a quiet witness that God is a holy God.  The life we live should indicate that we are different than the lost world.  Our hearts should be broken when we do give in to the flesh and participate in activities that do not honor God.  Our heart’s desire should be, as in the words of Paul, to be able to present ourselves as acceptable to God rather than to seek the approval of men.

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When our perception is not enough, ask God

Posted on January 16, 2013 by | Comments Off on When our perception is not enough, ask God

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A couple of years back and during a trip to St. Augustine, Florida as my wife and I were visiting her parents, we all went on an evening walk along the beach along one of the islands east of the city.  As we were heading back to the car, we all commented how beautiful the sunset was.  It was a great way to end a day of great fellowship, food, and conversation.  Although the picture serves as a reminder of a good day that we all shared, it is simply a record of our perception of the sunset as it appeared that evening.  Anyone who was not with us would simply look at that picture and see a sunset from the perspective the photographer wants them to have.

Oftentimes, we do the same thing when it comes to presenting ourselves.  We present an image of what we want others to see and not who we actually are.  We don’t want others to know we are in pain, are facing hardships, or struggling with real spiritual battles.  We don’t want others to see our failures, our shortcomings, or self-doubts.  What we do want them to see is our joys, our victories, our triumphs, and anything else that we thinks portray us from the perspective we want them to have.  For some people, it goes beyond trying to impress others to the extent of actually fooling themselves.  They see themselves as being a relatively good person; at one point I was one of scores that didn’t see anything wrong with the way I was living my life.  I always prided myself in that I didn’t do many of the things that others did.  It was a way to “justify” myself and my actions.  Even after I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior, I continued to lift myself up, to see myself from the perspective that God warns us against through the Old Testament prophet, Obadiah: The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee, thou that dwellest in the clefts of the rock, whose habitation is high; that saith in his heart, Who shall bring me down to the ground? Though thou exalt thyself as the eagle, and though thou set thy nest among the stars, thence will I bring thee down, saith the LORD (Obadiah 1:3-4).

Even the apostle Paul warned about our perception of ourselves and the deception it causes if our focus is not on Christ.  He wrote to the church in Galatia: For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself (Galatians 6:3).  Since the time I had accepted  the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior until 2004, I had served as an interim pastor to a small church in Clifton Choctaw Community in Louisiana, as pastor of a small United Methodist Church in Clinton, Kentucky, as well as a Sunday School teacher, Wednesday night Bible Study coach, and song/worship leader and choir director for several churches from Germany to Kentucky.  Although I was struggling with family issues, health issues, and other trials, I believed I could not be that bad since God had allowed me to serve him in all those capacities.  What I couldn’t understand was that things were not going to get better until I chose to be real with my faith, to examine my life through the lens of the Bible, and to allow the Holy Spirit of God to direct my paths.  Although I had presided over the Lord’s Supper and used I Corinthians 11:23-32 as a way to bring into mind the seriousness of this fellowship and communion with God, in my own life, I was not worthy to enjoy the type of fellowship I was claiming.

The pride of my heart had deceived me.  Although I was a Christian and had been saved by the grace of God, my attitude had placed me where I could not spiritually grow, I could not be blessed, nor could I fully accept the grace that God so freely gave and continued to give me until I was forced to see myself from God’s perspective.  As the apostle Paul wrote, all Christians at some point in their spiritual growth are faced with a simple but difficult truth: For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled (II Corinthians 10:3-6).  Just because we are bound to this earth by our fleshly bodies, we are not to fight for the things that the flesh wants.

Even for Christians, the flesh wants justification for its lusts and its sinful deeds; as Christians and through the grace of Jesus Christ, we should not only avoid fighting for the fleshly desires we have but reject everything that comes between us and Christ.  Even Job, a man that God allowed Satan to attack, was forced to examine himself for sins that kept him separated from God.  As recorded in the book that bears his name, Job prayed to God: Only do not two things unto me: then will I not hide myself from thee. Withdraw thine hand far from me: and let not thy dread make me afraid. Then call thou, and I will answer: or let me speak, and answer thou me. How many are mine iniquities and sins? make me to know my transgression and my sin. Wherefore hidest thou thy face, and holdest me for thine enemy? (Job 13:20-24).  Although Job had not committed any sin but was being tested by Satan for his unwavering faith in a holy and merciful God, his “friends” had accused him of having hidden sins and an impure heart; in their opinion, it was the only explanation they had to offer Job.  Job began to examine his life and even called upon God to show him his unconfessed sins, impurities in his heart, and his disobedience so he could repent of it to restore that special fellowship he had with God.

I had my “breaking moment” in 2004 – I was going through what would lead to a second divorce, was deep in a custody battle with my first wife, and was trying to finish my M.A. and starting my Ph.D. – all in a six month period.  I couldn’t understand what was wrong with God and why he was intent on allowing Satan to destroy me.  Instead of seeing and understanding that the things that were happening were all based on decisions I had made without spending time in prayer, without considering whether I was in the will of God, or even if what I was doing was God’s plan for my life, I simply acted and then prayed that I had made the right choice.  Sure, at the time I was sewing the seeds for what would bloom in 2004, I thought I was doing what God wanted using the logic that God would not have brought the opportunities I had taken if they had not been his will.

In early 2005, I reached my breaking point – I began to seriously question everything about my faith – and found an answer in several verses: Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart (Psalms 119:2); Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near (Isaiah 55:6); and finally, The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the LORD that seek him: your heart shall live for ever (Psalms 22:26).  Yes, I had made a profession of faith and there was no doubt that I had accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my one and only Savior; however, once I had accepted him, I never sought after him with my whole heart.  I had to come to the understanding that without focusing on Christ, the natural condition of any heart is wicked: The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9).  I also had to realize another important lesson from Paul: Do ye look on things after the outward appearance? If any man trust to himself that he is Christ’s, let him of himself think this again, that, as he is Christ’s, even so are we Christ’s (II Corinthians 10:7). I didn’t actively seek him and his will for my life but instead, focused on what I wanted to do.  What I needed to do from that point forward was to seek after him and his will, and even when I don’t understand it, rejoice in his perfect will and have faith that he has my best interests in mind.  I had to examine myself, be sure of my salvation, and not focus on what others saw on the outside, but focus on what was inside me.

Since that moment, life has not been perfect but I have learned to rejoice through the trials as well as through the blessings.  Spiritually, the Lord has allowed me to grow in ways I have never known or could have comprehended just a few short years ago.  Instead of feeling a sense of dread or avoidance when running into fellow church members in town, I rejoice when I do so because my happiness is sincere and genuine. I enjoy a sweet fellowship with my Lord and Saviour in my prayer life, in personal devotions, and even personal Bible studies in ways that I never imagined possible.  It has made me a better husband and father, more faithful in my church attendance, and more ready to fellowship and am more ready to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with others.

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Forgiving ourselves as we forgive others

Posted on January 14, 2013 by | Comments Off on Forgiving ourselves as we forgive others

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This picture is one that I took roughly eight years ago; I remember the morning I took it quite well. I had only been living in Carbondale, Illinois for five months when a fierce storm had come through on a Friday night in 2005.  From about half an hour before midnight until early Saturday morning there were repeated sirens going off as tornado warnings and thunderstorm warnings filled the night.  The next morning, about sunrise, I left my apartment and was greeted by this sunrise.  When I took the picture, I thought all that I was doing at the time was taking a picture of a beautiful sunrise.  I didn’t realize that this picture would become a constant reminder of God’s grace.

Earlier this past week I had an interview for a new position in Kansas City, Missouri.  Instead of listening to the music I brought with me, I decided to listen to local AM stations.  As I was passing through Mount Vernon, Illinois, I was able to catch a local church’s radio show.  Although I did not catch the name of the church, the radio show, or the pastor, the message was still one that I needed to hear.  He was teaching about the forgiveness and grace of God that as Christians, when we fail God and give into temptation, we can only restore the fellowship we have with God when we ask him for forgiveness, confess our sins – and forgive ourselves.  He started his sermon with what the apostle John wrote: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9).  Although there was nothing new or different in his presentation of this message, it was putting it in the perspective that we can only enjoy the renewed fellowship with God if we forgive ourselves that caught me off guard.

As the preacher focused on the theme of forgiveness, he introduced the concept of God’s forgiveness of sin: And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the LORD: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the LORD: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more (Jeremiah 31:34).  God’s forgiveness, once granted, is permanent and complete.  When we ask God to forgive us and we sincerely seek his forgiveness, he does so in a manner that many of us can never fully understand.

Even the psalmist David tells us As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us (Psalms 103:12).  As Christians, each time we ask God for forgiveness, the story of the prodigal son becomes our story: And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry (Luke 15:21-24).  Just as in this beautiful picture of a father’s love, God is this father.  Just as the son in this story – he didn’t lose his life just as we do not lose our salvation when we stray – we create a situation where God can no longer protect us, provide for us, or even fellowship with us.  Just as this father rejoiced that forgiveness was requested and fellowship restored, our heavenly father similarly rejoices when we return to him.

The pastor also pointed out the teachings of Christ as recorded in the gospel of Luke: Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven (Luke 6:37) and again later in the same book: And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil (Luke 11:4). So often in the past as I have read those verses I understood and believed what I thought was the simple message of those verses – we are to forgive others in the manner we seek forgiveness from God.  If we begrudgingly forgive someone, have reservations and doubts in our hearts about their sincerity, or hold any malice towards someone that has asked us for forgiveness, we not only sin but we place ourselves in a position where God cannot bless us.  For those of us who strive to follow after our Lord Jesus Christ, we have learned, either by our own experiences or by just simple faith, that when we do forgive others who have wronged us, we experience a sense of relief and know that by forgiving unconditionally we are doing the will of God.

We forgive our spouses, our children, family members, coworkers, and friends.  Many of us begin praying for the other person after we feel that we’ve been wronged, often forgiving them before they even ask forgiveness of us.  When it comes to forgiving ourselves, we often fall way short.  Just as that preacher on the radio taught, if we take the scriptures that teach how and why we are to forgive others and apply them to ourselves, we fully begin to understand why we must be able to forgive ourselves and move on before fellowship with God can really be restored.  The apostle Paul wrote: Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice (Ephesians 4:31). Paul didn’t place limits on the objects of the bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, and evil speaking; he said for us to put it all away – including the bitterness in our hearts when we will not forgive ourselves for our past, the sins we have committed, and for our lapses in sound judgment.  We cannot enjoy the forgiveness that God gives and the blessings of obedience while we continue to judge ourselves harshly and are unwilling to forgive ourselves.

Like all of Christ’s teachings, it is a simple teaching that if we truly grasp it and put it into practice it would profoundly change our lives.  When we continue to struggle with the guilt of sin we cannot enjoy the blessings that forgiveness brings.  There are two stories that bear witness to what can happen when we allow ourselves to accept God’s complete forgiveness without our own reservations of guilt – the woman at the well found in the fourth chapter of John and the woman caught in the act of adultery in the eighth chapter of John.  Both women not only accepted Christ’s forgiveness freely and completely, but they also allowed themselves complete forgiveness.  The woman cast at Jesus’ feet didn’t cry out “I don’t deserve your grace, I am an adulteress” and the woman at the well didn’t say “I don’t deserve your time, I am an adulteress.”  They accepted God’s forgiveness, his love, and enjoyed a time of sweet fellowship with the Lord. The same grace was present in Jesus’ teachings on the prodigal son; nowhere do we see the prodigal son crying “oh, father, I don’t deserve this feast, this welcome, or your forgiveness.  I am a lowdown disrespectful and unappreciative son…”  Instead what we see is a son asking for the father’s forgiveness and having fellowship restored and enjoyed without any reservation.

Christ’s teachings about our treatment of others is pretty simple: And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself (Matthew 22:39).  If we take that word love and apply everything that the Lord Jesus Christ has told us to do for others, we begin to see that the theme of forgiving one’s self is extremely important – if we are willing to forgive others unconditionally then we must be ready to forgive ourselves unconditionally.  This does not mean we should forget that which we have asked God for forgiveness, but it does mean that once we have sincerely asked God for forgiveness for that incident we should accept the forgiveness unconditionally and completely. When we do not accept the forgiveness, we allow Satan to intensify our ordeal and much like that storm in 2005, the winds of doubt wail around us, the lightening of anger fills our hearts, and the rains of uncertainty and condemnation fills our hearts and minds.  When we accept God’s complete and unconditional forgiveness and allow forgiveness to fill our hearts, just like the sunrise on that Saturday morning, we get to enjoy the peace that only the Lord Jesus Christ can give.

This is something I am still learning to do – to forgive myself.  It’s not easy, but I do know that it is important for my continued spiritual growth and Christian service.  Because of the limited range of the AM radio station, I never heard the end of the preacher’s particular lesson on Wednesday afternoon, but what I did hear served to remind me of the importance and need to truly accept God’s gift of unconditional forgiveness – and allow ourselves to forgive also.

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